We won't sleep together?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
