if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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