Ketchup is God's man juice
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
