Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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