sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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