she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
