Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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