we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So squirting runs in the family.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
