i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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