I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just googled if crying burns calories
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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