census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
