that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
