and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
