Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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