i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
