its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
