whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
