I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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