i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
