lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Plan B is the new Plan A
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
