that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
