it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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