Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
