College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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