we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
