how can u be prego again
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
