Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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