You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
