just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
