Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
