You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
