I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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