There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
