hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
