I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
