I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
