This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
