Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
