I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
