I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
