this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm too high and old for this...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
