When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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