Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
