in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
