and you said cock pushups were impossible
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
