so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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