Reggie can tackle my bush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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