i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
