She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
