Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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