i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
